How To Help Your Aging Loved One With Their Finances - Trusts & Estates and Elder Law & Special Needs Planning Newsletter
By: Jacqueline Yarmo
Anyone caring for an aging loved one knows that it can be a challenging, rewarding, and often thankless task. One of the most important parts of caring for an older person is providing support and guidance around the issue of their finances. Sometimes a serious diagnosis or crisis can call attention to the issue, while at other times, the warning signs that more support is needed can be harder to detect, such as noticing overdue utility bills or uncashed checks.
If the person you are helping is your parent, serving in this role can be complicated by your family’s interpersonal dynamics about money, particularly if you were raised in a “we don’t talk about money” household.
Having the Conversation:
If possible, it’s best to raise the topic early and before the issue reaches a critical point, being mindful that it can be difficult for your loved one to contemplate needing support and the potential loss of independence it might represent. Having shorter conversations with a focus on listening to their financial concerns and their goals will be received better than beginning by telling them what they need to do.
Another way to broach the topic is to discuss decisions you have made pertaining to your own financial future or newsworthy financial subjects such as data breaches and protection mechanisms like a credit freeze. If appropriate, offer to help in small ways such as scanning for scams or helping to set up online bill pay.
Gathering the Information:
Once your loved one is receptive to talking about their financial matters, it’s important to get a clear picture of the following:
- Where do they hold accounts and who has access to these accounts?
- What is their income and how or where is it received?
- What debts do they carry and how do they pay their bills?
- What are their assets?
- What health, life, liability, and/or long-term care insurance do they hold?
Your loved one may wish to share account access with you so that you can assist virtually to monitor payments and activity. This can be a helpful solution, especially if you don’t live close by. Another important tool is to be added to a financial account as a Trusted Contact Person (TCP), which is like an emergency contact for your investment or financial account. A TCP is an individual whom the owner of the account authorizes the financial institution to contact in limited circumstances if there are concerns about the account or the account holder. While very limited in scope, naming a TCP can provide an added layer of protection, particularly when an individual is experiencing early signs of cognitive decline.
Often parents ask their children to become a joint owner on their accounts for convenience sake, but this could have serious implications and should be considered carefully. Once you are added as a co-owner to an account, it legally becomes your asset as well. This means that any creditor or judgement holder can seek payment from the account, potentially putting the original owner’s security at risk. Becoming a joint owner can also have tax implications, and if the account exceeds $19,000, which is the annual gift tax exclusion for 2026, the addition of a co-owner to the account may require the filing of a gift tax return. It could also conflict with your dispositive intent upon your passing.
Reviewing Important Legal Documents:
Every adult should have a durable power of attorney as part of prudent financial planning. A durable power of attorney is an important part of an estate plan and is a legal document that authorizes a trusted person to make financial decisions for you if you are unable to act on your own behalf. Married couples often name their spouse as agent and then name an alternate agent in case the spouse in unable to serve. For more assurance that your wishes will be fulfilled, naming more than one alternate agent is a good idea.
If a person does not have a power of attorney in place and has cognitive limitations that make them unable to manage their affairs, they may not have sufficient mental capacity to engage in estate planning to sign a power of attorney. In these situations, it becomes necessary for a guardian to be appointed to authorize a person to manage the senior’s financial affairs. This would require an application to the County Superior Court and the expenditure of additional time and expense that could otherwise be avoided through a properly executed power of attorney.
Discussions about a senior’s finances can also lead to larger conversations about a person’s long-term care preferences or estate planning. Estate planning documents should be reviewed every few years and updated as needed, particularly after major life events such as a move or changes in a person’s health or family circumstances.
Finding Resources:
Maintaining financial independence with the support of a loved one can make a huge impact on the well-being of a senior in the community. Receiving even just a little monthly support to stay on top of one’s bills and to watch for potential financial exploitation can be all that is needed to allow a senior loved one to stay in their home and maintain their livelihood. Some communities even have non-profit organizations that provide one-on-one monthly support to individuals who need help with their finances. One such program in Bergen County, the Senior Checks Program affiliated with the Bright Side Family and Age-Friendly Teaneck, coordinates volunteers to check in on and assist independent older adults with navigating their finances in an increasingly digital world, as well as to help with finding resources and programs they might not otherwise be aware of. You can check with the New Jersey Division of Aging Services to see what is available in your area or to look for opportunities to volunteer.
Supporting a senior loved one with financial matters does not have to mean taking away their independence. By starting conversations early, putting appropriate legal and financial safeguards in place, and connecting with available community resources, families can help older adults maintain control over their finances while reducing the risk of mistakes, fraud, or financial exploitation. Even small steps taken today can provide peace of mind, strengthen financial security, and help ensure that your loved one is able to age with dignity, confidence, and as much independence as possible.
If you or a loved one needs assistance creating an estate or long-term care plan, the Trusts and Estates and Elder Law attorneys at Pashman Stein Walder Hayden P.C. can provide the guidance and support you need to be well-prepared for the future.
Learn more about our Trust & Estates and Elder Law & Special Needs Planning Practices.
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The information contained herein is for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. Use of and access to these materials do not create an attorney-client relationship between Pashman Stein Walder Hayden P.C. and/or its attorneys, and the reader of the materials.
